So I was at Starbucks for the first time (this was like three or four years ago), and I asked the lady for coffee. (Because isn’t that what you’re supposed to get when you’re at Starbucks?) Well, anyway, she just stares at me like I’m some freak! So after about ten minutes of being stared down, I asked her if there was a problem. And so she goes, “Well, what do you want? We have the coffee of the day, regular, decaf, we have the caffe latte, and the caffe americano and the white chocolate mocha, and the caffe mocha and cappuccinos and caramel macciatos, and-” Then she takes this really huge breath and continues, “We also have the iced caffe mocha, iced caffe americano, iced white chocolate mocha, iced caramel macciato, frappe, espresso, espresso macciato, espresso con panna, and if you don’t want coffee…” I thought that’s what I asked for in the first place. “We have Tazo Chai Latte, Tazo Hot Tea, Hot Chocolate, steamed cider-” She once again takes this huge breath, and then I guess she had something [[like a cat]] stuck in her throat, because she starts hacking up a furball, right there, in the middle of the store! Then she continues, “steamed milk, milk shakes, coke floates, and last but not least, fountain drinks. So what would you like, dear?” Just as I’m about to order something, she cuts in, “Oh, and we also have bottled drinks. We have vanilla bottled frappuccios, and mocha bottled frappuccinos, and coffee bottled frappuccinos, and starbucks doubleshots, and we have dasani water, and lemon dasani water, and strawberry dasani water, and we have vault, and coca-cola blak and lemon-lime powerade and mountain blast powerade and fruit punch powerade and we have hard chocolate pro slammers, and we have bottled apple juice, and bottled orange jusice. And full throttle regular and fury.” How does she remember all that?
“Yes, I’d like a regular espresso please.” Simple enough. Soon as that lady opens her mouth, I know I’m wrong again.
“Well, would you like to add a shot of flavor to that?” If it’ll get her to shut up.
“Why not?” BIG mistake.
“Okay, well, we have tons for you to choose from…we have almond, and amaretto, and caramel, and cherry, and cinnamon, and coconut, and creme de mint, and hazelnut, and irish creme and raspberry and regular vanilla and sugar free vanilla.” So after all of that you wanna know what I ended up ordering?

A free glass of water.

And THAT was my first time at Starbucks.

Posted by Chocolate Fudge and Gummi Worms at 7:25 pm & Filed under | |